• Open Mic Drop.

    By James Sved on October 12, 2017

    PALM BEACH (Herald de Paris) —  I’ve bitten my tongue too long, trying to hold it in.  I used to write a periodic column of thoughts and observations, and for the past 18 months I have refrained.  I can’t do it, anymore.  So here we go:

    It is time to disrupt the “Disrupters” who are screwing up the economy.  I will no longer drink artisan craft beer made by bearded guys who wear plaid in the summer; I will not use my phone to conjure up some out of work night school student working on an online degree, so he or she can drive me to a destination in a carpet-stained Prius; Actual hotels have cleanliness standards.  Just saying; I refuse to buy a new phone every year just because some imbecile who posts “Unboxing videos” tells us to.  Why is recording the taking an appliance out of the box it came in even a thing?  Go outside, there’s a large yellow ball in the sky and it wants to give you Vitamin D for free.

    Dear politicians, you were elected to represent your constituents.  People.  Not your chosen political party.  Act like it.

    Dear electorate, get a clue.  Stop voting the same yokles into office if they aren’t representing your needs and interests.

    Take the following words:  VEGAN … GLUTEN FREE … AIOLI … We know one girl who calls herself vegan – only eats raw food.  But she has to have her eggs in the morning.  Why do vegans, who don’t want to disrespect animals, shape and color and flavor their food to look and taste like bacon, hamburgers, meatballs, chicken, cheese, and everything else?  If you really want to be animal free, why make your food look like animals?  Sit in the corner and eat your green and mauve paste and be done with it.

    Aioli is flavored mayonnaise.  There, I said it.

    Earlier this week I was buying coffee at my local 7-11.  Not an endorsement, but 7-11 makes very good coffee … that costs what a cup of coffee should cost.  Well, I am pouring my coffee and this well-dressed woman walked in, eyeballs the selection of breakfast sandwiches and donuts and asked the clerk, “And where are your healthy, gluten-free alternatives?” I’ll say no more.

    OK, just one more thing about wheat gluten before I get hate mail – I do know some people are actually allergic to it.  Celiac Disease is a real thing.  My own mother has it.  I had to get tested – they do this with a biopsy of your intestines, which is less than enjoyable.  If you want to be trendy and eat gluten-free fine, but unless a doctor has sampled your insides with a sharp blade, don’t go around telling people you are allergic just so you can annoy the wait staff at a restaurant with your fabricated special needs.

    Beat poet named Mather
    Made comments that were rather
    Honest and to the point
    You don’t have to eat Eminems
    to respect the honesty he blends
    it’s his opinion and he has a right.

    Hypocrisy has become the norm, not the exception.  This is unacceptable.

    This morning we took a knee on Twitter for Rose McGowan.  I am not specifically a fan, but Ms. McGowan had the guts to call out Ben Affleck for lying that he didn’t know anything about Harvey Weinstein.  EVERYONE knew about Harvey Weinstein.  So either Ben is a complete moron who walks through life with blinders on, or he was lying.  Rose tweeted to Ben and told him to, “F*ck off.”  Not the harshest thing any of us read on the internet on a daily basis, however, Twitter, in its inimitable wisdom, suspended Ms. McGowan’s Twitter posting privileges.  Why?  For talking back to Batman?  See, this is the hypocrisy part, because Twitter allows a particular Tweeter to post half truths, make disparaging remarks about people,  spit hate, bigotry, and the threat of nuclear annihilation on a daily basis.  And so, from my knee I say this on Ms. McGowan’s behalf:  “F*ck off, Ben, and anyone else in Hollywood who plays dumb about the predatory rite of passage in that industry.”

    (Note to Ms. McGowan:  You are free to publish your thoughts here any time you like.  Mr. Affleck, you are, too)

    Here’s the thing about climate change:  Whether by natural forces or outside intervention, this planet has heated up, frozen, thawed, and heated up again for hundreds of millions of years.  The only ones who will be affected by climate change are humans, and let me tell you a secret:  Mother Earth couldn’t give a rat’s posterior about our species.  When we piss her off enough, she will eradicate us from the planet the way she has eradicated millions of other annoying, unworthy species’.  You can’t “Save the Planet” because on a planetary level we are insignificant.  We can make changes to extend the time span of humanity, before we become just another species who spend a measly speck of cosmic time on a spinning rock in a vast universe.  But that’s about it.

    Lastly, to the people who have nothing better to do that to create viral memes, Tweets, and blog posts that slant the truth:  You are acting like the people the founding fathers of this country fought to get away from.  Stop trying to sway people to believe what you believe with distortions of the truth.  Just because some people do not see things the same way you do does not mean you are wrong or bad … nor are they.  We live in a society where differences and differences of opinion are tolerated.  Don’t blame anyone else if you are too thin skinned to have someone question your values.  You aren’t going to change.  Neither are they.  That is OK.  They used to have  word for this:  DEBATE.  And at the end, the debaters shook hands.  You don’t have to agree with everyone to know they have a right to form their own opinions.  Respect that and stop fanning the flames with fake propaganda.

    To you readers of the half truths above, I remind you of what you learned in grade school:  Just because something is in print DOES NOT make it true.

    I’ll also remind you of what P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

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