HUMOR: “Amish pick-up lines”

SAN FRANCISCO (The Irreverent Homemaker @ Herald de Paris) - It’s cold, wet, the economy sucks, and something just isn’t right, this holiday season.  What better time for some humor.  Thanks to Fi Brownrigg, Ali Holden, Jes Alexander, David Cassidy, Alice Anderson, Mel Amor, Twitter, and many, many others, in compiling these:

My mother spoke to your mother and now I’m supposed to speak to you.

Do you like pancakes and living an austere life without modern conveniences?

do you come to this barn often?

Your hair must look wonderful-gut under that there bonnet. What I can see of it, I mean.

This quilting bee is turning into a quilting zzzzz. Wanna take a ride in my buggy, instead?

Would you like to see my well?

I bet you look just like your mother, when you grow up.

Why don’t you come by around 8, bring a fresh bottle of buttermilk, and we’ll sit silently amongst my large family.

I love a girl in a shapeless frock and apron. Rawr!

I may be an Amish girl by day, but I’m a Mennonite by night.

Does your field need plowing?

Want to raise a barn with me? It builds community.

Hey, nice ankles.

I’d like to grow my beard for you.

So, have a seat, do you like Rotisserie Chicken? Taste this and tell me what you think

Is that a buggy whip in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?

You have a really tight bun.

Don’t go to the joinery with Abraham; he only wants to show you his wood furnishings.

I own 500 acres of fertile land in Pennsylvania

Is that an apple peeler in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Are thee up for some plowing?

You’re pretty for a Plain girl.

That modestly drab brown dress really brings out your eyes.

Meet me at the butter churn

What happens in the root cellar stays in the root cellar.

I’ll bet you look exactly the same, first thing in the morning.

You make me covet.

You look good, even on a bad bonnet-day.

I’d totally get shunned for you.

Do you like pie?

Want to go on Rumspringa with me?

Wanna help me raise my barn?

Let down your bun and I will bring the good buggy

I know we can’t make graven images of ourselves, so this faceless drawing is of you. Really.

I was a Featured Extra in the film Witness

Let’s go stand near each other in the orchard

Will you churn my butter for me?

Have I not seen thee somewhere before?

I want to begat with thee.

So I was thinking the whole town could build us a house, then a barn & we’d have 12 or 14 kids – you know, just you and me.

When we’re not together I churn for you.

Got your own AMISH PICK-UP LINE? Add it below!

This light humor was in no way intended to disrespect the Amish community, put anyone down, or make anyone feel bad.  Respect each others’ differences, cultures, and customs.  Never, ever use humor to hate.

Comments

Leave a comment

Name (required)

E-mail (required)

URI

Your Message